Guess what? Don't fucking use satire when talking about rape!

A feminist political move is to rethink and deconstruct the things we joke about or talk about lightly. Such things like, using the word "rape" in contexts like, "hahaha ... they totally RAPED you" or using the word "nazi" in place of something like, "feminazi", etc. We can only understand the experiences we have through ourselves, however we can be aware that there are many more and not everyone falls into whatever we may think.

Last year I wrote an article for the April 21, 2009 issue of the Dakota Student called "The serious side of jokes." I decided to re-visit this issue because I think it needs to be addressed again, as I feel it should on a daily basis by everyone.

Some things do not need to be joked about or used as a satire to "get a point across." Some issues do not need to be used in a narrative voice of someone else as if to make fun of the way certain people approach things, like the typical dude-bro approach to sex, womyn, female-bodied people, and alcohol, such as in Josh Brorby's article, "One-night standing: the Method" in the Dakota Student.

Approaching serious issues like rape, domestic violence, and assault this particular way only perpetuates violence (specifically and especially against womyn and trans). It only adds to the voices of the ones in power and those who have privilege (cisgender men). It adds to the voices of those who have raped and/or abused and continue to rape and/or abuse; it validates their choices.

It shuts down the voice of survivors- it puts them in a vulnerable position, brings back memories of situations they have been through in the past, and shames their position as a survivor. When I read or hear anything that is trying to "get a point across" through humor or satire in such situations, it always and only brings up my experiences in the past as a sexual assault survivor. I do not think about how maybe this approach could have a positive outcome to it.

It only brings back the past. It rubs salt into wounds that are still healing. It brings back the voice of the man who committed those crimes against me.

If we want to address serious issues such as rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence, then we need to address them seriously, not as a joke. We do not need to hear the viewpoints of the rapists or the abusers, even through a joke or satire. Why would we need to? They have raped or abused someone. They do not need a voice. End of story. They need to be confronted with what they've done and face consequences. Otherwise the cycle of violence continues (here).

We need to speak out when someone is perpetuating this and acting in favor of rapists and abusers. As I just said, a rapist or abuser does not need to be heard; they need to be stopped forever.

Who we NEED to hear from are the survivors when they are ready to speak and if they want to speak. We need to hear from them so we can approach these issues seriously. People who are not survivors need to listen and support them.

We can give the survivor local support and shelter numbers (here, and here) or RAINN (rainn.org or 1-800-656-HOPE). We can let them know we are there for them in whatever way they need us to be.

Some of things Dakota Student writer Aaron Wentz mentioned in his articles "Men can stop rape" and "Men's role in violence" are amazing approaches that cisgender men can take. We can all look at ourselves and call ourselves and others out when they act in favor of the rapist or abuser. We can be supportive of survivors and make sure we are there when they need us to be.

This issue is serious on campus. Alcohol IS used to coerce people into having sex. Often times, the blame is put on the victim because she was "too drunk" or "looked like a slut." Rape and abuse is NEVER the survivor's fault.

The perpetrator made a choice and raped or abused. As I stated several times, we need to seriously approach this issue, not throw it aside or approach it in a joking or satirical manner.

If we continue to make jokes and satire about serious issues like rape, domestic violence, and sexual assault, then we are just validating those actions and the voice of the perpetrators. We need to take action to STOP these things from happening. We need to call each other out. We are leaving survivors behind if we approach it this way. We need to support survivors and give them a voice, not drown it out.