Wednesday, May 26, 2010

clinic escorting

Today I went clinic escorting, the first time of the summer!

The anti-choicers had two large crosses and a small plaque a Jesus figure with blood all over it. I heard "they'll hurt you in there!" and "don't kill me, mommy!" So so fucking supportive! Today I realized how grateful I am that I escort and grateful for the courageous womyn who go to the clinic and walk through those extremely non-supportive, judgmental people. I am thankful for abortion rights and wish we had more.

I totally think clinic escorting is so helpful for the womyn walking in. I can see the frightened look in their eyes start to disappear when they see the escorts walking up to them, completely respecting their boundaries, not touching them, saying, "Would you like an escort?" And if they say no, we say okay and let them walk.

I would like to know enough is enough. When abortion is made illegal? So that womyn give themselves abortion with hangers and needles again, desperate NOT to be pregnant. The pressures are on the female body, the male body does not have to ever worry about being pregnant. Yet, most of these people are men, being a fascist sexist misogynist toward other womyn. There was a priest there today, praying and protesting. I wonder if he know that preachers, nuns, and priests did things to find womyn safe, non-lethal abortions in the USA before Roe v. Wade was made a law. They made the conscious choice: continue seeing womyn die in extremely violent matters that can be completely prevented or NOT find places for those womyn to have safe abortions and continue seeing womyn die, needlessly. What is that was their daughter? Their granddaughter? Their wife? Mother? Daughters, granddaughters, wives, mothers, aunts, friends DIED because abortion was illegal because they desperately did not want to be pregnant. Beautiful, courageous, amazing womyn died because a simple, safe, medical procedure was illegal. And sadly, womyn like this are STILL dying all over the world.

It's so infuriating - some of the anti-choicers do not even KNOW that womyn did things like that. It's an easy google search ... it's NOT made up. Plus themselves. When, fine: I am SO GLAD they had that choice and I s some of the anti-choice people have abortion think everyone else should, too.

They also have a facebook page: Weekly Death Toll in Fargo North Dakota


They've started to have a sign with "daily death toll", however I am confused as to how they are counting the number of "babies murdered." Because it seems as though some of the people going in get counted as two. But someone going in to have an abortion may go in with their friend who is a female. Maybe they're going that person, too? Not sure.

Well seeing how it was today made me want to continue clinic escorting.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

unschooling, deschooling our kids?

Recently, someone posted on this on their facebook:

I responded with:

I really like this idea. I just wonder how do people afford to do something like this? I would LOVE to home school my kid. But I'm a single mom on welfare (who may/may not get child support every month) going to school so I can actually be maybe somewhat competitive in the awful job market (so I can afford to buy food by myself someday! pay bills! be self-sufficient, save up for my kid's future education). I also live in North Dakota and while the classrooms are small and my kid is thriving in public school (based on ND educational standards), there are no options of co-op schools, montessori, etc. My kid luckily is in the gifted and talented program, so gets to touch on some of the critical thinking skills (which from my understanding - has a huge positive impact on kids). We do unschooling at home when we can, navigating the restrictive gender roles, family structures, and sexuality that are enforced in public schools, deconstruct the history that kids learn in public schools, and continue positive reenforcement of her own creativity, autonomy, self-love, and self-respect. I agree with what (previous person who commented) said about homeschooling and the social reasons. My kid loves to be around her friends and gets a lot of benefit from that. I don't know many home schooled kids in the city I live in and the ones I do, do not live near me (even if they did - I have school, who'd watch my kid?) My kid is also luck to be involved with theatre stuff during the summer, after school, and gets involved with the yearly Talent Show at her school. She gets to learn Spanish next year in school (something I'd have no time or resources to do and have wanted to for a long time). I can and do see the destructive consequences of public schools and I see the wonderful, loving benefits of homeschooling/deschooling/unschooling. But unfortunately, a lot of these are based on positions of privilege and oppression, it's a really hard thing to navigate.

The thing I have noticed with unschooling/deschooling movement is that it is mostly white people. Why? Because they are the ones with the resources, time, and money to do something like this. Are they all rich and well-off? No, that's not what I am saying. But for someone to be able to take time off and travel to teach their kids does lead me to ask questions on how they are able to do it. I so wish I could have the money to do that and I completely agree with the reasons for doing it. My kid gets frustrated with school, she is already judged for her gender, and has to deal with shit from other kids concerning her religious beliefs (she believes Jesus was a historical figure and has no belief in a higher power other than, she can't control everything) and that she is a vegetarian. While I certainly do not put these judgments fully on the kids themselves: their parents clearly have not taught them about other people's beliefs, experience, and so on, it still hurts my kid. Not cool.

I wish all parents had the resources they needed to give their kids the fullest lives possible. I truly fucking wish that. I also think that it's not realistic. So, I think finding ways to resist the patriarchal, capitalist, hegemonic, racist, abelist, classist structures of our lives is sometimes do those resistant acts within the structure we are in. This is why I unschool my kid while she's enrolled in public school. Teach her about the people's history and who Christopher Columbus really was, create a safe space for her to explore what she wants, let her be creative and autonomous at home, be open about sexuality and the changes her body will go through, let her still be the person she wants and keeping a critical eye on how gender, sexuality, and family structures are portrayed (we have an on-going scenerio with her Littlest Pet Shops: two mom bunnies with kid bunny and two dad penguins with kid penguin), and letting her create her own space as well (she has been building a club house out of boxes and tissue paper for a couple weeks now). This is certainly hard and never easy. To be in opposition of the mainstream narrative is hard, especially when having a kid - because they are bombarded everyday. But it is certainly worth it. It takes a lot of work, reenforcing, and a lot of discussion. So far, my kid is awesome. She understands these restrictive roles of gender and sexuality but also understands race and class and how people are treated when they are not the "norm."

I would love to create a community in which a bunch of parents could get together and we could all teach our kids, in our space, and on our own time. But it's not possible for everyone. Plus, I know my kid needs space and time away from me, as I need space and time away from her. Public schools offer that. I would love for it to be completely restructured into a way better space for kids to be. However, I also think some of us this can start with parents, too. There's a lot of pressure to be the "perfect" parent. No one is. I want there to be resources so parents can be better parents if that's possible. A space where they can grow as parents and have spaces to talk things through with other parents on the rollercoasting of raising kids.