tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817664550206033721.post849131851739832954..comments2023-05-18T06:00:59.171-07:00Comments on feminist & a single mom in North Dakota: inapprorpiate mothers: radical reproductive justice for allHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02744489951863422941noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817664550206033721.post-28805718982196255312010-02-19T09:49:23.690-08:002010-02-19T09:49:23.690-08:00I never had a second income. My kid's dad rar...I never had a second income. My kid's dad rarely worked. And being poor is way better than being with him. <br /><br />I was born into a poor family, but my mom remarried and my step-dad was well off. I was living on my home in high school, however, shortly after I got pregnant. My dad was abusive to my mom, so yes - that is what I grew up with. No one taught me differently, true. Our society teaches that those things are "okay" ... no one is teaching girls empowerment. Which is what I teach my daughter.<br /><br />Agreed with your what to do?<br />Many of this is what I teach my kid now.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744489951863422941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817664550206033721.post-48034575466626919112010-02-17T21:25:32.234-08:002010-02-17T21:25:32.234-08:00Hi Heather,
Your points are valid, and will remai...Hi Heather,<br /><br />Your points are valid, and will remain valid, as well as true.<br /><br />Let me address some of your concerns.<br /><br />You are still in poverty because history and records show that women born and/or introduced into poverty tend to stay that way. That's why we say "teen pregnancy doesn't cause poverty. Instead, poverty causes young women/womynn to bear children earlier".<br /><br />Your experiences with men, alcohol, sex abuse, emotional abuse, etc, are almost always because you follow a role model. Jamie LynnSpears followed her's , her sister Brittany, as did Bristol Palin, as did thousands of girls. This is what we do, follow our mentors. You learn what is "right", through someone who taught you, whether right or wrong. <br /><br />The younger/older thing? The younger the girl, the older the man. Orange County, Cal, bastion of conservatism has the most middle school pregnancies with adult men. Middle School. <br /><br />Yes, you are absolutely correct about your male partner leaving. It's good he leaves, he's often a serious problem. But the loss of a paycheck leaves you in poverty, and reliant on the welfare system. This is why we say the pregnancy doesn't leave you poor. It's the male abandonment that does. <br /><br />No, no one presents these facts, except Mike Males, who taught me. Get a used copy of "The Scapegoat Generation". <br /><br />What to do?<br /><br />1. Tell kids about sex abuse, stats show almost 80% of all females have unwanted sexual attention, and they don't know what to do. And don't have men teach these classes. <br /><br />2. Address poverty as a limiting factor. The TBR will skyrocket in the next 10 years.<br /><br />3. A teen that chooses pregnancy over another future can't see something diffeent. Present something bigger.<br /><br />4. Abstinence as a birth control method is a form of sex abuse. Teens need a reason to abstain, and the reasons given are horrific- "to avoid pregnancy" , "to avoid STD's", " to avoid heartbreak". <br /><br />There are reasons to abstain, but not the ones presented. Teens know the BS. What they want is a bright, shining future- something they currently don't have. That's the best contraception- a vision of something better. <br /><br />Rick MachadoRick Machadohttp://www.machadofarms.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817664550206033721.post-9162127551545111792010-02-17T08:14:19.250-08:002010-02-17T08:14:19.250-08:00You certainly answered some of the questions I pre...You certainly answered some of the questions I presented. Thank you. While I understand what you have stated, I still think the points I made are valid. I am still in poverty, my kid's dad left, he was abusive (sexually, emotionally, and mentally), I come from an alcoholic home & so on. <br /><br />The thing I get frustrated with is like, okay: the dad left. For me that was a GOOD thing. Yes, it has made things harder and without another income - has resorted me to be in poverty. However, I was in poverty when he lived with us, he rarely worked. Currently, he is $5000 behind in child support. <br /><br />If it is an adult problem, then I think it needs to be addressed. Those social conditions that teen womyn come out of, need to be addressed, too. Even with the age rates (man being way older) - that needs to be talked about, too. <br /><br />While I agree with what you're saying - these things are often put upon the mother. I never knew about the men being older - that's disgusting and no one ever talks about it. It's all put on the teen mother. And yes, we can go on and talk and talk and talk about these statistics, but what can we do about it? Tell people in high school not to have sex with older men? Tell them that if they are from an abusive home, that they are likely to get pregnant in high school?<br /><br />No, we need more programs and education to start addressing these issues. Of course, they are there. But with all these statistics, it's nothing is being addressed.<br /><br />And like, I said, it took a lot of prying for me to find out that I COULD do something with my life. When I went to my guidance counselor senior year, she looked at me as if I was crazy because I wasn't going to college right away. I was pregnant! Guidance counselors are also not equipped to handle these situations and I felt like shit. The huge social pressures of mothers are already there, for teens it's bigger.<br /><br />I like that you said the TBR is an adult problem, not a teen problem. However, it's never presented that way.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744489951863422941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817664550206033721.post-14601614527498453882010-02-17T07:47:31.906-08:002010-02-17T07:47:31.906-08:00Heather,
A few comments about your article.
I l...Heather, <br /><br />A few comments about your article.<br /><br />I liked it, and you make some good points, especially about viewing teen pregnancy as a "bad" thing, rather than an alternative to tradition.<br /><br />But you need to understand how the teen birth rate (TBR) works, the truth, as opposed to what society presents to everyone.<br /><br />There are 10 dynamics behind the TBR, which are girls 15-19/who give birth/per 1000 births for all women.<br /><br />They are the adult birth rate (ABR), which teens follow lockstep, and have since records were kept ( Bristol/Sara Palin), poverty (80% of all teen moms come from poverty), sex abuse (66-80% have been sexually abused, and that's just the ones reported and caught), violent/chaotic homes (about 70% have been physically abused), older/younger economic attraction (girl 15, man 21.5 average age, 80% are impregnanted by adult men)educational failure (of course), lack of reproductive health care as an un-pregnant female, lack of competing choices, male abandonment (80% of all men leave), and the true fact, as you point out, that having a child as a teen can be a good choice. <br /><br />The TBR has nothing to do with sex, or contraception, or values, or responsibility on the part of the teen. It's tied to the economy, that's why it's going up. A graph would show 3 roughly parallel lines going up, the TBR, the ABR, and the unemployment rate. This is a trend that has been followed throughout history. Today's poverty rate can predict the TBR in roughly 10 years.<br /><br />Lastly, the TBR is an adult problem, not a teen problem. Teens are pushed into social corners, forced to make the best of bad choices, and pregnancy is one of the responses.<br /><br />Rick Machado<br />Public Speaker on Teen PregnancyRick Machadohttp://www.machadofarms.comnoreply@blogger.com